I've always wondered how I managed to live for so long, especially on that damn hellish planet. I am so surprised I made it out alive and safe despite the many sacrifices. I have managed to still be alive to this day and managed to even have a happier life, but sometimes there are feelings where it randomly creeps up behind me and attacks me. There is just a feeling that I am just not what I am or what I was supposed to originally be. I tend to feel like my ancestors are disappointed in me as a whole because of how different I am from them. I don't even know my ancestors, other than one for being cool and respected, but I still don't know much about him. There are also times where I've almost died really just by existing in that shit hole of a damn planet. There was a time where someone assumed I was a bad blood and ended up trying to get me executed, because of which, I almost ended up dying in a painful way till it was proven that I was just a regular blue blood. It's so stupid with this dumb bad blood rule. I hate how violent my planet and species are. It's kinda disgusting to see and I cant believe I'm even part of them honestly, plus there was another time where I ended up almost dying because of the scar on my neck. I got it because someone ended up almost slitting my throat entirely and I ended up choking badly, and yet I still wonder, how the fuck am I alive? Are Chimeras just more... Advanced than regular humans? Do we live longer, even in such life-threatening situations? Like I could have an open hole in my chest and yet I'd still be walking alive. Honestly, I'm quite scared about what I am. I just wish I was more normal like the others, but yet, I had to be born in such a horrible place and time and I feel so glad I managed to escape... But there is a feeling... That i keep wondering. How is everyone doing there on that planet? I never got contact back after I left, I just completely dropped everything and looked for someone new. But I cant help and feel such guilt that i left some people all because I wanted to forget such a horrible place and this guilt proceeds to run over me more and more and dragging my body across the ground the more I tend to remember a certain someone... I can't remember who they were.. I remember how they looked but... I just cant remember anything about them other than the fact I loved them as a friend and how much fun I had when I spent so much time with them. Every time I remember them, I just cant stop thinking about a certain question that will always pop up in my head whenever I think about them.

I wonder if they're still alive?

It's such a useless question because I doubt I'll ever see them again in my entire life. I'm going to assume they're just fucking dead because it's so hard to live on that fucking planet.

...

But it would be lovely to see them alive and well one day.